First Born

is there a more special bond between a parent and their first born? as compared to the 2nd or 3rd child?

i have 2 girls, both i love dearly. i don’t think i will practice favouritism in future lah. but whenever i sees my first born, i just have this feeling within me that i can’t describe with words. it’s like she is special.

i am also my parent’s first born. but seriously i don’t feel i am that special to my parents la.. just normal lor.

recently we just celebrated our 2nd girl’s 1st birthday. but the scale and excitement was not as great as the 1st girl’s party. why? are we tired already? or we don’t have enough time to prepare? or just something that is different we can’t describe?

i feel bad for my 2nd born. i will then do more to sort of compensate her. but why will i have this feeling to compensate? i can only say deep inside first born will always be first born. just like in the days of the old testament in the bible, the first born is different and will always get the double portion anointing and blessing. first born is always born when the parents are the strongest.

i don’t want to do things for my 2nd girl becos i have done it for the 1st. i want to do it becos i love her and i want to do it to make her happy.

the night is dark and late, maybe that’s why i am so emo now…